Kingsley Okonkwo, a well-known relationship coach and lead pastor of David’s Christian Centre, has stirred public debate after urging men to raise their standards in marriage and avoid choosing partners they consider financial burdens.
In a series of posts shared on his official account on X (Twitter) on Sunday, the cleric argued that many men are increasingly losing interest in marriage because they see it as a financial obligation rather than a partnership.
According to Okonkwo, men should begin setting clear expectations in relationships, including choosing partners who are financially responsible and able to contribute.
He suggested that if more men demanded supportive partners instead of dependants, more women might focus on building their own financial stability instead of viewing dating or marriage as a solution to economic hardship.
The pastor also described the current expectations placed on men as both “unbiblical” and harmful, noting that while many women openly state their preference for wealthy partners, men should equally prioritize women who are hardworking and willing to contribute to the relationship.
Okonkwo further criticised men who deliberately pursue vulnerable or financially dependent women simply to maintain control in relationships.
He warned that such behaviour may be driven by ego and ultimately does more harm than good, emphasizing that everyone has the potential to grow and develop their abilities.
His comments have generated mixed reactions among Nigerians. Some people supported his view, saying relationships should involve mutual support and shared responsibility.
Others, however, argued that traditional expectations still place the responsibility of providing primarily on men, while women contribute through caregiving and family roles.
Critics also accused the pastor of encouraging men to shift away from their responsibilities, arguing that expecting women to share financial obligations while still performing traditional domestic duties would create an unfair imbalance in marriage.
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